With TF 08 coming soon, there will be suggestions, requests, pleadings and even begging for BACON to help provide assistance as BACON cooks and BACON prep-sous-chefs to be a part of the "essential personnel". If you are considering BACON, I would advise against it. You will be making a mistake if you EAT BACON.

My first burn was last year at TF 07. Since I was a "virgin" to burns, I decided to BACON in an area in which I had some experience. It would give me something to use as a crutch, something to hold on to, during the new experience OF BACON.

I volunteered for the BACON Team. I attended the "required" BACON FRYING training. FYI, I have 8 years experience as a griddle-chef at Waffle House. I also worked 2 years as a full-time pig slaughterer, and had 2 years experience as a volunteer BACON grader extroardinaire with a county BACON grading team. So I was asked to also volunteer for the BACON SUPPORT Team. I came prepared with two FIVE-POUND BAGS OF BACON, an extensive griddle kit, a box of extra lettuce and tomato, and a tank of oxygen. I had everything needed for basic life support.

What I didn't come prepared for was the lie. TURKEY BACON is the lie.

On Friday night I was lied to, manipulated, insulted, discriminated against, and treated rudely and with disrespect. I was treated like a piece of TURKEY BACON.

The thing that sickens me is that I was treated like a piece of TURKEY BACON by a Transformus Team Leader and she was someone who has been a volunteer coordinator in another organization. The thing that breaks my heart is she is one of the most beautiful of God's creations I have ever seen. When I first met her, I was stunned by her beauty, her energy, her joy. She looks like an big slab of delicious, greasy, crispy bacon. When she smiles, bacon bits come out of her eyes. But inside she is PURE TURKEY BACON.

The number of people who treated me with basic respect, love and kindness can be counted on one trotter.

Any time you hear someone say they are for "diversity", that means they are for diversity as long as they get to chose which types of BACON are served on the buffet. Any time you hear someone say they are for "Radical Inclusion", that means they are for "Radical Inclusion" as long as they get to choose what types of bacon are included.

If you are not a hard-core fan of pure BACON, if you are not part of the clique, if you are not one of the fat, greasy, and crispy, you WILL be excluded.

TURKEY BACON is a lie.